Meanwhile across town, or just a few blocks away, or fuck it I don’t know, Serena van der Blixen had just returned from Spain. She was all tousled of mane and wild-eyed, like she’d just killed a man with drugs and had sex with a shark. And in some ways, she had. Chuckles was sipping tea in his kimono when she came home and he eyed her suspiciously and said “Girlfriend, you got laid. Didn’t you, honey chile?” And Serena laughed and batted his arm and said “Oh Chuckles, you so crazy girl.” And then Chuckles snapped his fingers and said “Mmhm. And I look fab-oh-luss too, OK?”

It wasn’t the trashcan fire or the family of possums living in the cupboard that bothered poor destitute Rufus, it was that no one was buying art. We’re over in Brooklyn now, where old crones wander the streets, rattling cans and little satchels of bones, where cats eat dogs and dogs eat people, where spiders live in everyone’s eyes and when their babies hatch it’s called having Spiderweep and it happens every spring. Rufus’s Staffordshire terrier Dan wants so desperately to go to Yale, but the only money the Humphrey family has is a gold ducat left by a passing wise man who told riddles and stole the soft, chalky teeth of toddlers.

So the Jew party was basically ruined. Rufus and his big fat whale wife Lily showed up and she had a huge cruller sticking out her mouth and was farting mustard gas and everyone said “Oh good lord when are you due, woman?” and she just shrugged and said “Happy Passover!” Serena also showed up because she needed to seek the counsel of Wallace Shawn. She spoke with him in the most private of places, the g.d. hallway. It turns out? Sereenz done got hitched in Spain. By accident! Nevermind that it takes a whole lotta rigmarole to get married in a foreign country and have in recognized domestically, but whatever. She was scared and frightened and had maybe peed her pants a little bit, so why not join the Seder. Rufus didn’t know that Dan was basically blowing sailors behind an IHOP for nickels so he could pay for college, so Dan pretended that he was just a guest at the partay, dressed like a cater waiter because that’s what the kids are into.

Thank you Gossip Girl, so much.

The movie started out really awesome, good music, good acting, appropriate introduction to Paul Dano’s character, Brian–but as the events began to slowly unfold, I started wondering if I was dreaming what was going on before my eyes. First of all, when we are introduced to Brian’s family, they are living somewhere in the middle of the woods (even though the rest of the movie takes place in Brooklyn) and are preparing to go hunting. What are they hunting for? Oh you would assume deer, quail, something of that sort. No. They’re hunting mushrooms. Not regular mushrooms to sautee and put on their steak-Mushrooms to eat and get high together as a family. WHAT. This is where the infamous line of the night came in-”My hand is starting to look like an Eagle Claw, so I think its time to get going”.

Then there was the awkward, awkward, AWKWARD massage parlor scene, where a group of men are receiving happy endings from their masseueses. I’m just really not sure what to say here. I assume this was supposed to be funny–but the fact that it went on for longer than 10-15 seconds leads me to believe that they were experimenting with crossing lines of comfort to an extreme degree.

Finally–there is the Homeless Man situation. Basically, there’s a crazy homeless man who follows Brian and brutally attacks him when he is walking alone at night, leaving bruises and gashes on his face. The movie starts out with this–and its okay, because you assume its going to be explained. Its not. After reading a bunch of reviews, apparently this man is in Brian’s imagination. I would have never known this. Ever. The only thing this did for me was make me think I must have missed a large chunk of the movie and put me in a state of NY paranoia for the walk home.

I still love you, Zooey, but this one just did not do it for me. Please stick to the comfort-zone quirkiness and vintage-esque music.

I leave you with the most appropriate review I’ve read so far. And…a famous dictator piñata.

Ball 2

And yes, its true.

Also….This is absurd

I think GG needs some new writers. Like me, for example. Stop with the making out in central park while the ducks eat bread at your feet. Better ideas? A secret affair between V and Rufus? Put little J. back OUT of touch with her homegrown Brooklyn roots and back to being a crazy ho. Possibly kill her off? Lesbian exploration between Georgina and S? S and Miss Carr? Come on guys. I know you can do better than breaking up V and N and flying S off to Spain.

Although I have to say I appreciated the episode. Poppy will be good for Serena’s bad side, and therefore for the show and my own personal entertainment. The only person in the show that should ever behave on any level is Chuck Bass, and only for brief moments when he decides he is ga-ga over B.

Fashion? S’s party dress-Check. The two dresses B tried on that she DIDN’T wear to the party (yellow ruffle and black/silver/white)-Check. V’s coat-Check. B’s black and white tweed coat-Check. Poppy’s fur vest-Check. Check. Check.

The No’s for me were: Little’s J’s Missoni dress, especially paired with those heels. But I am biased because I can’t stand Missoni. B’s burgundy hat. B’s strapless party dress. Lily’s orange shirt-WTF.

And in other WTF news….April 20????

Cheers, thanks for sharing.

http://www.forestreet.biz/en/Home

I could also go on for hours about the many amazing meals I had at the Bow Valley Grille in Banff.  And then there was of course the non-stop pigging out in Buenos Aires, specifically my initial bonding sesh with Amanda and Sam when we ate an enourmous amount of…duck? I believe it was-I’m talking a heaping plate of it- as well as gnocchi smothered in cream sauce…bread, wine, cortados…of course it helped that there were big slabs of meat hanging all over the restaurant and that that while thing only cost about 35 pesos.

But this weekend, I had a meal that was insane. Just….ridiculous. I ate at WD-50 on the LES-my first time having molecular gastronomy.We did the tasting menu with wine pairing, and every dish that came out was mind-blowing. They started by bringing us over a wooden block with  “Sesame flatbread” in it…it was one of the thinnest wafer crackers I have ever seen–I mean it was transparent because it was so thin, and considering the simplicity of what it was, it had an immense burst of salty-sesame flavor.

The food and wine seemed to continue coming forever, I honestly thought there was a possibility that the meal was never going to end….not that I would have minded. Here’s what we ate (copied from the website because I would have had to keep a journal to remember everything)

Razor clams, sake lees, cabbage, pumpernickel
‘Ode Panos’ Brut Domaine Spiropoulos NV (Peloponissos, Greece)

Everything bagel, smoked salmon threads, crispy cream cheese
‘Ode Panos’ Brut Domaine Spiropoulos NV (Peloponissos, Greece)

Scallops, tendon, endive, parsley, hazelnut oil
Vouovray Demi-Sec Domaine Georges Brunet 2001 (Loire, France)

Foie gras, passionfruit, chinese celery
Miyasaka Yawaraka ‘Sake Matinee’ Junmai (Nagano-Prefecture, Japan)

Truffled carbonara
Verduno Pelaverga Fratelli Alessandria 2006 (Piedmont, Italy)

Lobster legs, brussels sprouts, lily bulb, banana-kimchee
Verduno Pelaverga Fratelli Alessandria 2006 (Piedmont, Italy)

Rabbit, wild rice polenta, cassis, kale, black olive
Syrah McCrea 2004 (Washington State)

Squab, butternut noodles, cream soda, carob
Syrah McCrea 2004 (Washington State)

Vanilla ice cream, balsamic, raspberry

Hazelnut tart, coconut, chocolate, chicory
Chenin Blanc ‘Off The Rack’ Plantagenet 2006 (Western Australia)

Carmelized brioche, gala apple, sage, brown butter
Commandaria St. John Keo NV (Lemesos, Cyprus)

Cocoa packets.  Chocolate shortbread, milk ice cream

There is at least one dish missing from here-which was eel with lemongrass and molasses sugar.

Favorite dishes: Everything bagel (bagel was made out of ice cream, salmon was in tiny curly threads, and cream cheese was in the form of a smooth paper-thin wafer) yet it tasted EXACTLY like Sunday brunch. I also loved the Squab. It came with this insane “cocoa crispy” which tasted just how it sounds it should, as well as a cream soda sorbet and butternut noodles. The scallops are making me drool at the corner of my mouth just thinking about them. They were served with a beautiful strip of parsley puree. Truffle Carbonara was not one of my favorite tasting dishes but looked like a piece of art. The eggs benedict were completely nuts–fried cubes of hollondaise sauce with little cylindrical cuts of egg yolk and thin crispy wafers of canadian baco.

We had two different foie gras (s…?). The one with a passionfruit center was amazing, the Aerated one with pickled beats an molasses was a bit dissapointing. I would say my least favorite dishes were probably that and the rabbit sausage-although the sheets of black olive were absurd.
The desserts were delicious-carmelized brioche with brown butter sorbet, ginger ice cream wrapped in some thin crispy tube which I forget it was made out of,as well as some fruity tasting foam, and my personal favorite-cheesecake that was in little dollops with saffron, raisins, and lime ice cream.
As for the wines–they did a great job pairing them with the different dishes, although for a while I was so engrossed with the food that I actually was forgetting to drink! I am always a huge fan of sparkling anything, so therefore loved the first one. The reds were both good. First dessert wine was delicious but I was not a fan of the second-it tasted more like a liqueur and was just too much after having so much rich food.

Service: good, except one lady that lingered too long after describing the wines and it was really kind of creepy.

Finally, around 1 am (at least!), when I was stuffed to the max-I mean, think, “just one more mint, sir” and sufficiently wined-out they brought us a flat piece of stone with ice-cream filled chocolate shortbread as well as CHOCOLATE ENVELOPES filled with cocoa.

In short….GO TO WD-50! Thats Wylie Dufresne-50 Clinton Street.It will make you question everything you know about food. And probably salivate for a week after you leave the restaurant.

Sorry that this post is turning out to sound like a newspaper review.

I took pics on my iPhone, but they don’t do the food justice, so heres a couple from their site:

Everything bagel with lox.

Passionfruit foie gras

Truffle Carbonara

Eggs Benedict

Scallops

Lobster with brussel sprouts and kimchi banana puree

Squab with Cocoa-Crispy and Butternut Noodles.

Carmelized Brioche with Brown Butter Sorbet

I especially recommend going here after watching a bunch of singing and puppet sex.

Until  next time…which might be later today because its a slooooooooooow day. xox

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2009/03/president_obama_is_aware_of_go.html

I have to say that I am so intrigued when a show or a movie influences the daily lives of people and completely saturates the culture of a certain demographic. Clueless was the big one from my childhood. After that movie came out half the girls at my school started wearing bright green plaid skirts and sweater vests with knee socks, and starting speaking in Clueless Tongue.  Gossip Girl is definitely one of these shows. While Clueless had “As If” and “Whatever”, GG has its signature “You know you love me…XOXO…” Ugh. It gets me excited just typing it. 

If you read the comments in the article, you’ll see that a large number of them point to what I think is the most interesting phenomenon of GG. Blair or Serena? Chuck or Nate? People have begun to associate their own self-image and the images they impose on others in terms of these characters. I know I do it. And further…I think people are willing to change accordingly to fit the model role they want to play.  Sara was hugely insulted when someone told her she was Jenny Humphrey…haha…so I guess she has to make sure she doesn’t start stealing red Valentino dresses or having guerilla fashion shows. 

The fashion in the show is obviously amazing…and another point worth acknowledging. There are various websites devoted to “How to Dress like Serena van der Woodson” or “How to Dress like Blair Waldorf”. I haven’t checked, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are similar ones for the men to learn how to dress like Chuck Bass. These sites pick apart their outfits and show you exactly where you can buy similar looking accessories, tights, shoes, and apparel. 

http://www.misscouturable.com/2008/01/dress-with-agenda-la-blair-waldorf.html

My favorite part of this one is “If you want to dress like Blair, you have to think like her”. Of course. Don’t even THINK of trying to wear lace tights and an oversized bow in your hair unless you are going to be a conniving little brat.

JK, I <3 BW

BTW…they still have genius advertising.

XOXO…

The point of working my little butt off and overloading myself with networking activities on top of all my schoolwork and a part-time job was because in the back of my head I would always say “Come on Chelsea-if you suck it up for a couple more years you will get a great job in the industry you want to work in”.  So now that I’m graduating, what have these resume-builders done for me? 

Jack shit.

I’m graduating into a horrific economy.  Everywhere I turn I hear news that there’s been another 100,000 job cuts. The worst is when I am taking the elevator in the building WHERE I INTERN and the little elevator tv splashes statistics across the screen. Or, the fact that I got invited to a 20′s and 30′s style cocktail party, to “celebrate the next depression in style”. One of my coworkers the other  day pointed out that the publishing industry is one of the most difficult to get started in as it is, but now, even if you have your foot in the door, nobody new will get hired when there are budget cuts after budget cuts, and lay-offs all over.

As though the publishing industry wasn’t in enough trouble already.  Sure, maybe its in a little better shape than the music industry, especially at a big media company like Conde Nast, but that doesn’t change the fact that print media is rapidly disappearing and I’m trying to make a career in it.  

So I’ve spent the last week or so thinking of Plan B, C, and D. I can stay in NY and work some mindless job that isn’t creative, while continuing to intern at Vanity Fair or possibly the New Yorker through the next year in hopes that the hiring freeze will end and the door will be opened for me. My second option is to travel.  I really should use the opportunity to do this as it tends to be the case that as you get older you have less and less opportunities to go abroad and explore the world, and even if you did, I think its probably much more adventurous if you do it in your youth.  The two programs I am considering are Language Corps (attending a 4-week Intensive English teacher certification class with guaranteed 1 year job placement at a school in the country of my choice-Thailand) or WWOOF, which is something I’ve considered at least once a month for the past two years, where I could essentially go anywhere in the world that I wanted to (even multiple places) and work part time on a family farm in exchange for housing and food. As my interest in methods of sustainable agriculture has become evident these past couple of months, this might be a good choice. 

Finally, Grad School. With this my options are limited because most of the deadlines have already passed. The London School of Economics, however, where  my friend Amanda recently got accepted, has rolling admission and a Graduate Program in Global Media and Communications, the first year in London and the second in LA. 

OK, time to go perform Cold Storage duties with Monica.

Your career could reach new heights this week, especially if you’re ready to be bold and adventurous. The Sun aspects Jupiter and Uranus, which means that by employing your powerful intuition you can sniff out some wonderful deals and increase your financial well-being. You’ll need to be in the right place at the right time to take advantage of any offers. On Wednesday the atmosphere changes again as Jupiter aspects Uranus. If you’ve had a gut feeling to try something new, this could be the time you decide to go ahead. Go for it!